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Nickodemus

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I take care of a quadriplegic man for a living. I would describe myself as a combination of Lou from "Me Before You", Cordell from "Hannibal" and a little bit of that kid from "Bad Grandpa" rolled into one. I always wondered how Christopher Reeve went to the bathroom. Now I'm kind of sorry I asked. In my spare time I like to feed the homeless, write poetry, watch soccer and pray that someday Emilia Clarke sees what I am doing with my life and grants me a pity date. Here's to hoping, kids.

* * * * * A Date with Emilia Clarke
* * * * Interview with Margot Kidder
* * * Spoon Feed Gary Oldman
* * Fistfight in a Homeless Shelter
* 90 Minutes of Digital Stimulation

 


 

Swartacus

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Pop not soda.

Ratings:

5 stars - Happy Meal
4 stars - Denver Omelette
3 stars - John Denver
2 stars - Crap wit Whiz
1 star - Hideous Penguin Baby

 


 

Reviews by Morg

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I prefer my sushi raw, my coffee dark, and my science fiction somewhere in between.

I grade films on the following scale:

* * * * * Basically perfect
* * * * Great
* * * Good/interesting
* * Not so hot
* Dreadful

 


 

Chad S. Walsky

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Oh, hello there. I didn't see you come in. I'm Chad S. Walsky and I love movies! Let me throw some pants on quick.

That's better. Let me tell you a bit about myself: I'm old, I love movies, I never shut up, and I drink too much. Occasionally I'll combine all these wonderful attributes into excessively long movie reviews for my adoring fans (mainly my mom). I should also add that my tastes are pretty basic. If a jacked up moron karate-kicks bad guys in the nuts while random shit explodes in the background there is a 94.6% chance I'll love it. I'm a simple man.

* * * * * Nude Jell-O wrestling with Charlize Theron
* * * * Spa day with Scarlett Johansson
* * * Checkers with Bill Pullman
* * Dutch oven from Steven Seagal
* 69'ing Josh Gad

Born in the 70's. Raised on the movies of 80's. Became obsessed in the 90's.

I'm Chad S. Walsky.

 


 

Curtis Loves Movies

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My name is Curtis. I love movies. Free of the armchair critic's burden of judging art as good or bad, I've chosen to use a subjective rating system:

* * * * * Loved it
* * * * Really liked it
* * * Liked it
* * Didn't like it
* Strongly disliked it

It's okay to not like the things I like. And it's okay to like the things I don't like.

 


 

Isaak von Seggern

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Isaak enjoys some hard 70 proof Safeway store brand grape juice, The Satanic Satanist album by Portugal. The Man, the Majestic Majesty album by Portugal. The Man, and short walks on the beach into the Pacific ocean, alone, at night, so that the sharks find his body before the coast guard does.

His hair is naturally styled after an early 20th century woman, he is sinking quickly into the black hole of his own life, and would like to tell you that Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives is the Citizen Kane of film, and you know and he knows it, and I know it, so we are all now on the same page together, thank you and goodnight.

 


 

Biscoito18

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Hi, my name is Biscoito18, I'm Brazilian, a "child" of the 90's and you can trust me because I'm a lawyer. ;D

I'm a fan of horror movies in all its variations, but I don't watch any movie just because it's playing in theaters or to put them on end-of-year lists.

First I make a judgement of admissibility. That is, the movie has to have something that catches my attention, for better or for worse (I love giving 5's as much as I love giving 1's). This may be the director, some actor, the producer, the screenwriter, some marketing image that got stuck in my mind, the premise, or even just the movie title, otherwise I will not waste time watching.

In my reviews I try to focus only on the main points that caught my attention, whether it's something good or bad, and pass through words the sensations that the film has passed for me. I don't discuss politics in my reviews and I try to make the most of the work of those who made the film, especially in the case of indie films.

Feel free to join me on twitter (@zdezoito) and disqus (@biscoito18).

 


 

audreyv

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audreyv is an aspiring retiree who peaked at age three when she modeled magenta overalls for a major department store catalog. That store subsequently ceased operations a few years later but it can be assured it was not for lack of advertising prowess on the part of young audreyv. These days audreyv studies science at a research university and hopes to establish an astrology department one day. She is a Libra.

 


 

jmunky

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I am jmunky. I write reviews to go with your morning coffee. I like cats, long drives on the beach, and am a smooth peanut butter person (a peanut butter any other way is just disgusting).

I rate thusly:

5 stars - Jesus
4 stars - Mary
3 stars - Joseph
2 stars - Judas
1 star - Satan

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